| Location | Halifax |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 12/03/2005 |
| Date of Death | 12/03/2005 |
| Visitors | 1,376 since 06/04/2008 |
| Creator |
To my darling Ellie Mae,
I canβt believe how time has flown and how much the pain still feels so raw.
I was 20 weeks pregnant with you our third child, I went for my normal antenatal check up and the midwife said my blood pressure was high again and she asked me to lay down to listen to your heart beat. As before she couldnβt find it and asked me to go to the hospital to have a check up and see what was happening. I had done this 3 times before but it felt different this time I knew something wasnβt right.
So I rang for your daddy to come to pick me up and take me to the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital and were taken in for a scan your daddy was stood at the bottom of the bed looking at the screen. He didnβt need to say anything I could tell by his face that something was wrong. His heart broke right there in front of me. The nurse said she needed to get a doctor to come and see us. When she left the room your daddy just looked at me and cried and I knew then that you was sleeping. We held each other so tight and then the doctor came in and did another scan. She turned to us and said she was so sorry but your little heart wasnβt beating. That day was the 9th March 2005 and it was 2.30pm. That was the worst day of my life. My baby girl had been called by god to be an angel. Daddy and me cried so much and we felt so numb. The nurse then asked us to go in a room so another doctor could come and talk to us. We waited what felt like a lifetime till he came in and told us that I would have to go home and come back in 3 days to have my little angel.
We went home to your big sister Holly who was 9 at the time and big brother Bradley who was 1. We told Holly and she asked lots of questions like why and will you be coming home. That was the hardest thing to explain to her that you wouldnβt be coming home. Bradley was too young to understand.
On the 3rd day which was the 12th March 2005 we set off to the hospital at 9am. When we arrived we were taken into a quiet room and told what was going to happen. There was Daddy and me and your Grandma Lesley whose name you have as your middle name. The time came when the contractions started and it wasnβt very long before you were born sleeping. You were born at 16.02. I didnβt really get a chance to see you as the midwives whisked you off. After a while they came back and asked if I wanted to see you I said of course I do so daddy and grandma went out with the midwife and they came back in with you. You were so very, very, tiny, and wrapped in a hooded blanket. You looked just like your big sister Holly when she was born. I couldnβt believe that this perfect baby wasnβt going to be coming home with us. We asked for you not to have you picture taken as the memory of you is enough and they tried to do your hand and foot prints but your skin was so thin they couldnβt do them. That day all our hearts broke even more. I think I was trying to believe you would be born and you would breathe but that wasnβt to be. We wished so hard for you to breathe. We never got to hold you as you were too small and fragile.
We spent a while just looking at you and seeing how amazing and peaceful you looked. Then they took you away and it was like they took my whole heart out of me. Your daddy was amazing he was so strong for me and he stayed with me all night holding me in his arms just the way I wanted to hold you. The day after I was allowed to go home. We went home and Holly was waiting I still think she was expecting us to take you home. So many hearts were broken because god called you to be an angel in his garden.
The day of your funeral was a quiet cold rainy day, there was me and daddy, Grandma Lesley, granddad George and Aunty Lynda. Your daddy carried your coffin and laid you to rest. We all said our prayers for you that day and I just went through it like it wasnβt even happening to me. I laid red roses on your grave and wished you a safe journey to godβs garden. I donβt think any of us have ever cried so much. We visit your grave on a regular basis and make sure itβs all tidy for you. Holly who is 14 now clears the leaves away and Bradley who is 6 now takes the rubbish away. He is old enough now and understands you are his baby sister. We now have Jack who is 2, and you now have a baby sister too she is called Elizabeth and was born 11/7/09, I imagine you would look like all of them. When Jack is older he will be told about you too so that the memory of you will carry on through all of us and the generations to come.
We have no photos no scan picture no hand and foot print just memories of your little sleeping body and face to help me through the bad days.
You would have been 4 this year sweet angel and as the time goes by it gets a little easier to visit your grave and tell you how much I miss and love you.
We all love and miss you so much.
Sleep well little angel and look over all of us.
Lots of love Mummy, Daddy, Holly, Bradley and Jack and Elizabeth X X X X
my dear ellie mae hodgson
WELL IT BEEN A WILL SINCE I SENT YOU A MESSAGE JUST TO LET YOU KNOW I HAVE'NT FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU , THAT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE . I SEE YOUR MUMMY AND DADDY VERY OFTEN THEY ARE WELL AND SO IS YOUR 2 SISTERS AND 2 BROTHERS ,,HOLLY,BRADLEY,JACK AND MISSES BOO (ELIZABETH) THEY ARE ALL GOOD THEY THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY LIKE WE DO WELL WONT BE LONG BEFORE WE CELEBRATE YOUR 7TH BIRTHDAY I THINK WE SHALL HAVE TO COME AND EAT SANDWICHES AND CAKE WITH YOU GIVE YOU A LITTLE PARTY WHAT SANDWICHES DO YOU LIKE I LOVE HAM ,LOL, WELL ELLIE TIME FOR ME TO GO JUST THOUGHT I WOULD DROP YOU A LINE WILL SPEAK VERY SOON
WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH SLEEP TIGHT BABY GIRL IN OUR HEARTS EVERY DAY ALL OUR LOVE UNCLE MARK AND GINGIN AND CARLA ANDY STEPH XXXXXXXR.I.P
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. . . . .. [♥α¦ α¦♥]. . .
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βγγ ββγγ ββ β β
βγγ ββγγ ββ
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β HAPPY BIRTHDAY SMALL PRECIOUS ONE
To my sweet angel up above
Hello my darling mummy misses you so very much, i really wish I had my chance to hold you but you was too fragile my darling. I look at Elizabeth and how much she has grown, she is 12 weeks old today and I like to think that she has some of you in her and I imagine that she looks like you. I know you and Grandad Billy will be having lots of fun together. I miss you both so very very much. Give gradad a hug and kiss from all of us here.
Love you loads baby girl xxxxxxxx
Ask My Mum How She Is
================
My Mum she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before,
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mum how she is,
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie,
Because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mum How she is,
She'll say 'I'm alright'
If that's the truth, then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mum how she is,
She seems to cope so well,
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mum how she is,
'I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping'
For God's sake Mum, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine,
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven,
I cannot hug from here,
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold,
I'll say 'You're lucky to get in here, Mum,
With all the lies you told!'
To my sweet special angel
I have a little daughter, who means the world to me
She's living with the Angels and is as special as can be
And even though she's up there, playing in the clouds
She's still my precious daughter and I am so very proud
The memory of her take pride of place in my heart
I know I can not hold her, or bounce her on my knee
But I only have to close my eyes, her little face to see
I never will stop missing her and wishing she were here
But sometimes I feel, indeed I know that she is very near
So play happily my little daughter, you will never be forgot
I love you so and always will, though I miss you such a lot.
Miss you angel xxxxxxx
To a vey special girl
Ellie you are the brightest star in the night sky
you are the whitest snowflake to ever fall
when god said he had to take you everyone did cry
as you hadnt got to know us all x x x
They say god only takes the best
but the day he took you he didnt take the best
he only went a took the very very best
he needed a beautiful flower to grow in his garden, and that when you had to go to his garden to grow he got the must beautiful rose you can ever see xxx
R.I.P little one and sleep well ,keep looking over your mummy and daddy and holly,bradley and jack and keep them all safe as they have all all got your kept safe deep deep down in their hearts
night night ellie x x x
Most people walk in and out of your life.
......oooO.......... ....
.....(....).....Oooo ...
......)../.....(.... )....
.....(_/.......)../. ....
...............(_/.. .....
But only Loved one's leave footprints
in your heart...xβ₯x
for ellie
_______.. ` /`__________' .. ' /______
_______`-/___' a___a`___..-'______ __
_________|____, '(_)`.____|___ __
_________..___( ._|_. )___/_________
__________..___`.__, '___/__________
__________.-`.______ _, '-.__________
________, '__, '___`-'___`.__ `._______
_______/___/_____β₯ __ ___..___..____
_____, '____/_____β₯_____ _. .___`.___
___, '_____|______β₯___ __ __|_____`._
__|_____, '|______β₯_______| `. _____|
___`.__, '_.-.._____β₯_____ _/ -._`.__, '__
_________/_`.____β₯ __ __, '__.._______
__.''-._, '______`._:_, '_______`., -''.__
_/_, -._`_______)___(________ '_, -.__..
(_(___`._____, '_____`.______, '___)_)
_.._..____..__, '________`.____/___ /_/__
__`.`._, '_/_____________.._ _`._, ', '____
___`.__.-'_____ _________`-.___, '
* + * * . + * .*.
. * + * JUST * + .
+ . . * + . + * . * +
* . + *SPRINKLIN.* + .
+ . . * + . + * . * + .
+ , *YOUR. + * PAGE+ *
+ . . * + . + * . * + .*
. * * + . * WITH.* .
+ . SOME. * + * * . + * .
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+ ..LOVE.. * + . +
+ . . * + . + * . * +
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------------OO------ --------------- A CANDLE OF LOVE
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---------OOOOOO----- -------- TO LIGHT YOUR WAY
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---------OOOOOO----- ------- SLEEPING WITH THE
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---------OOOOOO----- --- ANGELS LOVED AND MISSED
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---------OOOOOO----- -- BY ALL GOOD NIGHT
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---------OOOOOO----- ---GOD BLESS
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---------OOOOOO----- ----LOVE ALWAYS
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